Not You Anymore, But I Still Love You
by MyVampireBunny
Summary: Fang is not Fang anymore. Fang is a monster, who on the inside only wants to escape the thing that has him, but he can't. On the outside, the moster has won. Fang is not Fang anymore.
1. Chapter 1

**I hope you like this new story! This is the preface, so it's gonna be short! Sorry! Just be patient!**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Maximum Ride!**

Preface: Letting Go

His eyes sparked red with anger. Maybe curiosity was burried somewhere in those endless pits of black…and fire. I could see the flames envelope everything that was sane.

Something was inside him. Something was taking him away from me, making him evil, all in one. He smiled at me and pushed me against the wall.

"Fang…" I whispered. "You can stop this."

He shook his head, threw his head back, and laughed. "No I can't!"

When he looked at me again, his eyes were full of tears. He stroked my face with the back of his hand. "I'm so sorry Max… Please, forgive me…"

And then I felt the worst pain in my life. So it was true. You really do die for the ones you love.

I laughed with no humor. And then everything went black. The whole world was dark, blank, and scary. The last thing I heard was my laughter, and his sobbs.

He didn't want to do it. He had to do it, to save himself…


	2. Chapter 2

Woah! Five reviews in the small, meager existance of this story's life! Thank you, thank you very much!

**Disclaimer: I STILL do not own Max and the gang. You get it…**

Chapter One: The World Still Spins

Fang had many…er…how to put this…'attempts' into getting me and my attention. And trust me, I 'attempted' to try and love him back like he loved me. But I just couldn't get myself to do it.

I saw when he looked at me anymore, that he was hurt by my rejection. But how could I tell him that I loved him? It was like a physical impossibility for me.

We both put on a show for the flock. We preteneded like nothing was the matter. But when ever, for some reason, we were alone, things got awkward. There were no cheery conversations anymore, now humor sparking between the two of us. Heck, even the hostitliaty was gone. But I was pretty sure that was because he _had_ told me that he loved me. Your not usually hostile towards the people you love.

Dragging me out of my train of thought, was none other then Iggy. Latley Fang had been leaving him with me. Fang just really couldn't stand being around me that much anymore.

"Max, what's wrong?" Iggy asked, suddenly grabbing my hand. Woah! Out of the blue, don't yah think?

But the truth is, I liked his hand there. I liked the feeling of the comfort that he was giving me. I (without really realizing that I did it) rested my head on his shoulder.

_So no, _I thought, _Fang I don't love you. But it's just casue I _can'_t love you. It's almost like there's something there that breaks us apart. Don't hate me because of it. Your still my best friend._

"Iggy…" I whispered.

"Yeah?"

I closed my eyes, squeezed them shut. I was hurting so hard on the inside. Would Iggy be able to see that? Well, ironic, isn't it? Iggy couldn't _see_ anything, but you know what I mean.

"Iggy, am I that mean to people?"

He laughed. His laugh made me smile. "No! Your tough and you voice your mind. There's nothing wrong with that! Why?"

"I just…had a lot on my mind."

This moment in Iggy's P.O.V.

I knew something was upsetting her. It was obvious for the whole flock. But nobody had the guts to mess with her. She's pissy when she's upset.

"Max, what's wrong?" I asked. I grabbed her hand. It was like an impulse to do so. I wasn't even thinking about it, but it just flashed before me and I had to do to it. Oh…no. Was she going to hurt me?

Then she put her head on my shoulder. Woah…

"Iggy?" She murmered.

"Yeah?"

She closed her eyes.

"Am I that mean to people?"

"No! Your tough and you voice your mind. There's nothing wrong with that! Why?"

"I just…had a lot on my mind."

Another impulse. I placed my hand on her cheek. Man, she had grown up a lot since…since… well that last time I was able to touch her. And even though I couldn't see her, I knew she was beautiful. She didn't freeze at my touch, or push me away.

She looked up at me…

**Back to M.P.O.V!**

Okay, so…what was wrong with me? At Iggy's touch I felt like the whole world was better. He smiled.

And then I did something I never thought I would ever do. Iggy was attractive. Though he wasn't as dark or as tall or whatever as Fang, he was still amazing in his own way. And for some reason I had never seen this before.

He was 'looking' at me with gorgeous blue eyes. At that time I didn't know that he would be the one to catch me when I fell. I always depened on Fang. And I never knew he would be the one I would have to run from. I would never know that Iggy was the one who would be there…

Our faces were nanometeres apart. I could feel his breath on my cheek…on my lips…and we kissed. It was the one moment of perfection. I really needed this. Oh, god I really really needed this!

And in case your wondering, Iggy was not somebody I took my grief out on . I truly felt like this was right. Like I loved this boy…

Fang's point of view as he fly's over the clearing…

No need to wonder why she didn't love me. I knew it was over. I was trying to fight a battle that couldn't be won.

So why was she all I ever thought about? Still? I shook my head. You so gotta stop this Fang!

"Drop now!" I hollared back at the rest of the flock. And then I made the mistake of looking down.

Max and Iggy were intertwined. Max was all over him…

Why had I been so stupid! I really was an idiot! Swearing, I flew backwards as the flock landed, casting worried glances at me.

At the same time, the "Mistro" was watching the whole seen with interest…

As the newest creation, I was expected to fail. Yeah right! I had the perfect plan, and it was only made better by the tensions that ran high in this pathetic excuse of a flock!

Laughing gleefully, I tapped my watch on. "Speak to Commander." I waited patiently for a few seconds.

"Yes, Mistro? Good news, I can only hope."

I smiled at her voice. "So nice to hear you again, master. I do have good news. Plan Destrucion is now in action."

"Has the male been infected?"

"Not yet, but he soon will be…"

"Excellent…"

I hope you like it! And please don't get mad about the Miggy! I had to make my story different somehow! I hope you guys liked it! R&R!!!!!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Two: When It All Stops

F.P.O.V

I soon realized that in life there was such thing as pain. And man, it really hurt. People who said they knew what pain was…well, they were all liars. They had no idea.

It all started when I had landed near the bank of some lake. I looked down at the reflection of myself in the water, and was instantly unhappy with what I saw. I did the cliché thing and splashed at the image angrily.

How could she not see it? It was so obvious, as clear as the water below me! Yet Max didn't care, she wasn't one to nail the obvious. She was a girl who enjoyed taking the complicated way out.

And I didn't want to wait forever for her to finally see what her and I really had. I didn't feel like I had the time. It's weird to explain, but I felt like time was running out for me. Like at any moment, all the effort I put into getting the girl I loved would be wasted.

I didn't know why I felt that way. Though, I didn't really care. Why I was feeling anything these days was a big surprise to me, so why care anymore? And I know this won't make sense to a lot of people, but loving Max hurts. It hurts to see her being ripped away from me, just because Iggy likes her to.

Since when did he start liking her! Ugh! This whole situation was beyond sucking! If there was ever a moment in my life, where killing myself was a good way out, it would be now.

My hands began to shake just at the thought of ending my life. I don't know why I thought it. You're probably all thinking, "it's about time the emo kid realized he's emo!", or something like that. But that's not why. Because believe it or not, I do feel emotions people!

I let a scream of rage and agony escape my lips, hoping that somebody heard. I really wished that Max would come down here, and heal me with a kiss. But wishes never come true. It's a state of mind to wish, it's never real.

I fell to my knees, never feeling so washed up and useless. I mean, what was the point in keeping me in the flock? Nothing but a nobody, that's what I was.

And then I was ripped away from all negative thoughts. Because there were two things at that time that could take me away from my own thoughts: max, and something totally evil.

Yeah, I wish it was Max to. But, of course, my life really does suck.

When I spun around, I saw him. There were guns and bullets attached to a long belt wrapped around his waist. There was an all to wicked grin around his face.

"Fang. I've been waiting a long time to see you."

"Who the fuck are you!"

"Oh, feisty are we? Because really, I would think you'd be all to willing not to fight."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Your all alone Fang. There's nobody here to help you. No Max. No flock. You can't fight me all by yourself."

"The hell I can't!" I charged forward, my hands ready to make contact with skin. But then never did.

As I ran toward him, he shoved something incredibly sharp in my stomach. I doubled over and landed on my knees.

"You really are weak." He said, shaking his head.

"You…bastard."

"Don't speak, Fang. You'll just make it worse."

I don't know how long I was there. I don't know when he left. I just know that at some point Max was there. She was with me through all the pain, making it that much easier. My life felt good, even though I could feel it ebbing away.

And the last thing I remember seeing: Max. The last thing I remembered saying: "I'll love you forever, My Max" The last thing I think she said: "Don't go Fang! I love you!"

And I left with a smile on my face…

M.P.O.V

"No! No! Fang, please! Please Fang!"

My body rocked with sobs as I sat hunched over him. The flock was around me, tears falling from their eyes. Running through my head I finally knew that I loved Fang as more than a friend or a brother.

But I knew what it was that was tearing us apart. The world didn't want us to be together. We weren't meant to be…and it wasn't fair.

Iggy held his hand on my shoulder the whole time. I felt his warm tears land on my back. And I felt the whole world shatter around me.

It was like broken glass. Like the whole ground was just made out of glass, and it had finally broken. There wasn't a place anymore. There wasn't a somewhere anymore. There was just nothing. A whole, great big place full of nothingness. And it sucked. It really, really sucked.

I held his hands to my lips, and kept saying, "I love you, Fang. Wake up Fang. Come on Fang. Don't go."

But his breathing had stopped long ago. His chest didn't rise and fall, there was no heart beat, and air didn't rush out of his lips. The lips I had regretted kissing for the longest time.

I fell backwards, landing in Iggy's arms. I curled up in a ball as he stroked my hair and kissed my forehead. I grabbed at his shirt and his hair, trying to find something sturdy to hold onto. But everything wobbled and moved when it wasn't supposed to.

It was the moment when it all stopped. And if felt like the universe had chewed me up and spit me out…

I.P.O.V

Life wasn't fair. Love wasn't fair. Nothing was fair anymore. Because lying at my feet, was Max, who was lying at my dead brother's feet. My DEAD brother's feet.

Everything was gone, just like that. The only thing I had left was Max. I knew that he loved Max, and that she loved him back. But her and I loved each other to. And I didn't want to have to realize that by having to have one of us die. I didn't want Fang to die. I loved him like he was family. And that's because he was.

And the worst part it…I could see it all. I didn't know how, but I could see it all. I could see Max and Fang. I could see Max as she crawled into my arms and cried. I could see the flock, crying in each other's arms.

It wasn't just colors. It was real. All of it was there. Shapes, colors, and….and…tears. Lots and lots of tears.

Yeah, my vision was clouded because of tears, but I could still see.

I sobbed, and Max sobbed. The whole world was a world full of tears. And when you start out blind, and you can see again, the first thing you don't want to see is defintley tears. It makes everything harder.

I looked over at Fang. Because of the tears he was nothing but a black mass, but it was enough. I cried more and more. I didn't want him to be gone. Oh, damn it, I didn't want him to be gone!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Three: Still Beating Heart

Waking up was painful. His vision was wiped over with crimson, and was then replaced by a horrible, gut churning rage that swarmed through his whole body. He clenched his fists, but felt a bit restrained around the wrists.

Then he felt the cold metal braces keeping him down. He struggled, growling, thrashing, and screaming as the rage, and need to kill finally settled in.

He kept seeing HER face. Mixed feelings made him feel terrified. Beautiful, and yet so terribly ugly. Bright and vibrant, yet dark and dreary. Kissable, yet so easy to torture. Her screams ran through his head, and his mouth began to water. Just to hurt her…

"…unstable!"

"…insane!"

"…perfect!"

He suddenly stopped moving, feeling as if his survival counted on being still, useable. He closed his eyes, feeling as if maybe that would help. And somehow, it had…

"Where is he!?"

"He vanished!"

"Switch the alarms on!"

"NO!" That voice made him fade back into reality. It was powerful, hard, and commanding. "You will do no such thing! Look, he's back already!"

He heard terrified and shocked gasps, which brought a smile to his lips. He had scared them…

A hand fell over his right hand. "Fang…"

"Jeb."

"You look wonderful."

"I feel terrible. I want to kill her." He closed his eyes and groaned, feeling like seeing her blood would make him feel amazing. Like it was better than the feeling of her lips on his. And maybe it was…

"Help me Jeb!" He screamed, feeling the rage only get stronger.

Jeb squeezed his hand, as if he was a father comforting his son. "Hang onto that rage, Fang. You need to embrace it…"

"I don't want to! I don't want to hurt her!"

"But it's what you were destined to do!"

"NO! No, I won't do it!"

Jeb smiled. "But it's what you are destined to do, Fang." He repeated. "This will make you feel how you are supposed to feel. You are the true leader of the flock…"

Something bigger than Jeb pushed him out of the way. Fang realized him to be the one who had struck him near the lake. He struck Jeb. "Your lies will only confuse him! Stop acting like a father, and start acting like a scientist! That's what your paid to do, and that's what you _will_ do!"

He then turned to face Fang. "Stop feeling for that little freak of an experiment! She deserves to die, Fang! Remember how she ran away after she kissed you! Do you remember that! All the pain she caused you?"

"Don't say that!"

His hand struck Fang's face, causing the rage to rise. Bloodlust was beginning to take over everything else.

"You want her dead!"

And that was that. Fang wanted Max dead…. His still beating heart was destined to kill the one he loved so terribly. He was torn between the love of his life, and the bloodlust that seemed to be so strong…


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Four: To Bad Seeing Him Again Means My Death

M.P.O.V

I can't explain how I feel. So whole and yet so incomplete. Three months, three whole MONTHS, and yet I can't drop him. My right-wing man. But I have a new one, and for a time it's like he's better. At first Iggy was clumsy with his sight. I had to pull him through the hard times when he'd want to be blind again.

I would kiss his cheek, making him melt like butter. Then I would move my lips to his, and I would feel little electric shocks run up and down my whole body, making me shiver. I knew he felt the same, because his shaking was almost worse then mine.

None of the flock talked about _him_. We can't do it. There's no way we can bring ourselves to face the terrible truth as to which I know we have been denying. People close to you die. And when they die, your life has to go on.

We're crossing over Pennsylvania, taking in the smell of fresh air and pine needles. It's nice here. People are always outside, water skiing, sun bathing, swimming, the normal. It makes me feel good. Like, all the way through to the core, you know? Well, some of you might not be able to say that. You all have a home that you'd like to live. Well, try seeing it from my view, no freaking home to watch TV. or eat chips in. Sounds nice, right? Well it's not.

We all land near a lake, the name escaping us. I walk the edge, Iggy's hand in mine. I like listening to the familiar babble of the flock, sitting around with one another (now only Nudge, Gazzy, and Angel because Iggy and I are walking by ourselves and HE is gone, but it still sounds the same). I lean my head against Iggy's shoulder and take in the familiar scent that is Iggy.

The smell of pine needles, lake water (from a previous crash I have no time to explain), and sweat. The smell reminded me of something, causing a whole whirlwind of memories, but I pushed them back easily.

"I love you." I whispered, holding his face in my hands.

His smile lights up this whole freaking place. The way he looks at me… "I love you to."

That's all it takes. The few words to open a kiss and shove it in the open. Of course, we were going to kiss, but there was no way in hell my life was that freaking perfect.

There was a crash in the water, and this guy-shaped thing jumped out, landing on one knee with his right hand on the ground. His left hand rests lazily on his left knee. The first thing that I really notice though, is the giant black raven wings waving behind him, shaking off the water droplets. When he looks up at me I begin to think of all the cruel jokes the School has played before, this was the worst.

The face was exactly like his, no blemishes or imperfections. He was the same boy I had always known.

My knees wobbled so bad I fell to the ground, thinking about how cruel this world had gotten. This was how they killed me, was it? Knowing that I could fight nothing that resembled him in any shape or form, that was how it was going to be. Even a robot dressed as Fang could kick the crap out of me.

"Fang." I whispered. And that was all it took.

With an explosion of noises, the flock flew by my side, Iggy's hands came to my shoulders, Fang's smile widened, Fang threw his head back and laughed, a chill ran down my spine, Flyboys came up from behind the trees, and I began to cry.

Fang stood up, looking like the perfectly sculpted god I had always known him to be. Damn… "They did good." I whispered.

Fang cocked his head to the side and his smile faded. "I swear one of these days I'm gonna do something stupid."

I smiled, feeling totally insane. Hell, if I was going to go down, why not go down like a raving lunatic? "They did a good job on making you look like the real thing." I said, my voice high and alien-sounding.

"But, oh…" He said, looking down. "You haven't figured it out yet? Should I start by telling you that I, or he, never died? I, or he, was injected with…"

"Shut the hell up!" Iggy yelled. I began to laugh so hard my stomach screamed with pain.

Fang looked up at Iggy and laughed like a cruel, blood thirsty man. "You think I'm hurting her?"

Iggy stood in front of me. Fang took a step forward. Then another… I wasn't going to lose another one that I loved, I thought, standing up and acting on impulse.

I ran towards Fang, punching him in the stomach. But he was strong, and his rock hard stomach didn't seem effected. Instead he grabbed my waist and turned me upside down, then pushed me on the ground, his boot on my hair. I noticed something then. His movements weren't the robotic type the clones had. Something was wrong here…It was like he was human…

"Shit." I said, screaming as he pulled on my hair. The Flyboys were circling overhead, cackling.

"Leave her alone!" Iggy screamed, running forward. Three Flyboys flew down and pinned him just as easily.

"Don't…don't hurt Iggy." I growled.

Fang gave me a look that looked pained, broken, and yet so real. I knew then. This was no sick joke. This was the real thing.

"How long Fang?"

He pulled my hair harder, but asked. "How long what, Max?"

"How long have you been on their side, huh? All those years of saying you loved me and…"

"Oh, just shut up Max! You know this is how it's supposed to be! A life for a life! I kill you so that I can win!"

"Win what? Fang, what did they do to you? Brainwash…"

He pulled so hard I couldn't talk. "Don't bring it up!" He hollered, placing his hand over my mouth. For a moment we were locked in staring.

A life for a life, huh?

"I won't kill you here, Max." He said. He took his free hand and ran it down my cheek. "I'll give you time to say goodbye. Maybe even to me. Because I know…ah!...I know that I'll…miss you…"

The words were choked and forced. "I'll always love you." He breathed, sweat beading on his forehead. He pushed away and backed off. "Just leave before I have to kill you."

I sat up and was truly confused when I said, "Aren't you coming with us? Why won't you come back to your family? To the people who love you?"

He looked at the Flyboys letting go of Iggy, nothing but a motionless lump. "There's no family here anymore." He spat. "Not one that I could love."

I cocked my head to the side. "I don't know what they did to you…" I began to sob, not even realizing that I was crying at all. "But I'm gonna fix you Fang…I'm gonna get you back."

He laughed. "I wish you could."

They flew away, me feeling sick and broken and shattered and…crappy.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Five: Please Keep Breathing…For Me

Max's P.O.V

After seeing Fang again, I felt like one part was ripped away while another was easily patched up. At least he was alive. At least he didn't look hurt…

"Max! Max! Help!"

It took me a second to realize that Angel was calling my name, her voice frantic. _Max! Iggy…Iggy…he's not breathing!_

Hard core anger settled in my stomach, making me feel sick as I spun on my heal, running as fast as I could to the lifeless lump that was settled in the middle of a mess of kids.

I gently shoved them away. The last thing he needed was a bunch of sobbing kids. I stroked his face, holding back tears of my own. _Stay strong…stay strong for him…_

"Iggy? Hey, Iggy? Can you hear me?" I wrapped my hand around his own. You could see the blood pouring out of gashes that the Flyboys had left on his face and stomach where his shirt had been violently ripped. "If you can here me, then squeeze my hand." No response. "IGGY!" I screamed. "Don't you dare leave me now!"

I closed my eyes, letting the tears escape. I wanted to throw myself over a cliff and just fall, fall, fall…not letting my wings catch me. I wanted my life to end so others could live. I wasn't giving my family anything they could use to survive. I was useless without my rightwing man and I knew it, but I still had to keep fighting. But now…

Suddenly Iggy's body jerked upwards, making him cough and gasp. "Iggy!" I gasped, sobbing out of pure joy and fear. What if for some reason he still couldn't pull through?

"M…Max." He stuttered, looking at me with the eyes of a child. I pulled him into my arms and then let his head rest on my lap. "Hey…can I…sleep?" He asked.

"Just not forever." I whispered. "Please keep breathing…for me."

His hand came over mine. He tried to squeeze it, but failed. "Hey…you know I…would never leave you."

I nodded my head as tears splashed his face, leaving salty marks in the blood. He cringed as one tear directly hit a cut. "I'm sorry!" I gasped.

He closed his eyes. "Don't be…I'm used to pain."

I felt guilty for him saying that. Being used to pain shouldn't be something to be proud of. It should be something to be afraid of.

I watched as he fell asleep.

"Max?"

My head jerked up to see Angel, her eyes clouded with tears, holding the hands of Gazzy and Nudge. "Is he gonna be okay?" she asked.

I nodded my head. "Yah…yah…I'm pretty sure he will be."

_Please don't lie to me Max. I can tell that you're worried._

_I'm worried over a lot of things, baby. Not just this. I love you._

_I love you to._

_Take care of Nudge and Gazzy. You guys need each other._

_Got it._

Angel may have been the youngest, but she acted like one of the oldest. I could see her as a future leader of a flock all to her own, taking even more control then I was. I could see her leading her flock to victory rather then utter defeat. I could see her keeping the ones that she loved alive without a problem, not letting them even have a scrape on the skin.

I had wanted to be that way when I first took command. But I soon realized that was something a frigged up person like me could never do.

I bent down and kissed Iggy's cheek, putting all of my love into that one little kiss. "I never want to lose you." I whispered, stroking the sweaty mess of hair that covered his head.

I stayed up all night, making sure there was never a falter in his breath. I was hyper all night, only somewhat calmed when he began to snore. The small sounds that left his lips were so normal that I felt a layer of peace settle over me.

This was how life should be all the time…

To bad it never could…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Iggy's P.O.V

When Max told me to keep breathing for her, I felt the need to survive wash over my heart harder then it ever had. It hurt to hear her voice, so high with so much distress. I wished that I could make her feel better, and I fought my body to sit up, but it only left me weaker.

_When I wake up, Max, I'll make you happy again. I'll make you forget Fang, and I'll help you fight against him. I won't lose you…and I won't let you lose yourself…_


End file.
